Friends, Monster Abduction; it’s real.

There are tell-tale signs all around us, but yet the majority of “manlings” don’t seem to be getting the message. I’m here today, to help give you this message, loud and clear.

Brothers and sisters, I’m here to tell you that where most folks see an “umbrella”, I see a goblin makeshift radio antenna. When most of you see a “common pine stump” I see I see a troll breeding stool. Where you see a “fire hydrant”, I see a Halloween Golem’s district marker.

The proof is real, and it’s consequential. Just like how some of us accidentally stumble into the monster world of Monstru, some of them stumble here, into our world.

It’s like a paper map. You have those, right. Here, take this one of the United States. Turn it over, what do you see?

No, I’m not seeing Alaska. I’m seeing Monstru. The monster world. It’s just on the other side of ours, just as you flipped over the map.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “This guy is nuts. He’s nutzo.” Folks, I’m as sane as a 3 dollar peanut, and I’ll tell you that I’ve been abducted on no less than 318 occasions. Sometimes it hurt. Sometimes it wasn’t pleasant.

You see this scar? Made by lairmouth Feratu. See this one? Red goblins. That one? I fell down a well one time. No monsters there. Heh!

Friends, I don’t mean to put honey in your eyes, but I just may have to. The sooner you realize that the monsters are among us, the sooner you’ll realize that our world is at stake here. Our way of life is in danger.

There is one singular way that we can fight back, friends. One way that we can reclaim the fight and do what is right.

We need to go to Monstru. We need to invade their world. We need to take their jobs. We need to leave our signs. Our symbols. Our marks.

Are you with me?

- Daniel