Monster Commute – a Traffic Novel

Trouble.

Some people love being in trouble, other people live a life, presumably safe from such inconvenience.

Where you stand along that span is up to you, or the authorities, I suppose.

Me, trouble is attempting to repair machinery, or plumbing or electrical things in my home or car. (And no, my car has little plumbing that I’m aware of.)

My step-father was raised on a farm, and was a real grease monkey ever since he was a kid. When I met him, at age 10, I was a book-reading, bicycling nird with a penchant for Dungeons and Dragons. But maybe I’ve mentioned that before.

So, spending late evenings at his father’s shop working on cars was surely my hell. When my 1/2 dad would smash his fingers with a wrench, he’d yell PIG F*CKR! and then throw the wrench in my general direction.

So, I learned quickly 1. not to laugh, 2. what to yell when I was in pain, and 3. to avoid all automotive repair work no matter what the cost.

I pledged to live my life so, and I have for the most-part succeeded.

This is Daniel, and the AUTHORITY approved this message. Buy war bonds!

- D