An here ends our tale of the Furnace Goblins, at least for a little while. Don’t worry, they’ll probably be back since I do like masters Horst and Grist.

Here is a photo of a real Furnace Goblin that I captured in our house a while back:

Okay, I hope you’re ready for Halloweens.

-Daniel

I grew up with a Lionel train collection.

My step father (we’ll call him “Bob”) worked for the Union Pacific for 30 years, and while every day at the job wasn’t a joy for him, he did like steam powered trains. Looking for some way to bond with me (as hunting and shooting weren’t really working) he decided to try the train angle.

I got a train for Christmas 1980. It was a cast iron steam engine, and it was pretty cool. It came with a basic assortment of cars, a caboose, and some track. We set it up, and soon it was carrying Greedo, Snaggletooth, and Walrus Man on rides through CarpetCity.

However, my following Christmases I got vintage 1960′s engines, which were far more detailed, cool, and heavier yet. These were the first toys that I really learned how to take care of, and they were cherished nearly as much as my Star Wars toys, if you can believe that.

Later, Bob and I converted most of my bedroom into a massive layout. My bed was below the tracks, and I bumped my head a bunch of times. We never had a chance to add terrain, mountains, and flocking to it all, as by 1984 we moved out to the country with no electricity or plumbing.

The trains went into storage again, until I retrieved them from the attic 10 years ago or so. They’re still in storage, but perhaps a little safer in the arid Arizona environment.

So yeah, I think that steam engines are kinda cool.

- Daniel

• 1,352 components working together in masterful horological precision
• driven by a 450 link chain and nickel silver drums.
• $275,000 for the base model
• $400,00 to get it studded in platinum and diamonds.
• From Cabestan Watches.

It seems like something you’d want to keep under glass, rather than wear. I myself want something more durable.

See more steampunk gear:
Steampunk Lab watch gallery.

Via boingboing.

Well, maybe you do, and maybe you don’t, so here’s a quick definition.

Steampunk:
An imaginary Victorian age, that features brass and copper clockwork and steampowered inventions that go far beyond 1800′s technology. Steam powered mechanical wonders, optimistic gear driven computers, dirigibles, clockwork firsts, and stuff like that. (But don’t forget the goggles.)

Well, something like that, anyway. Think Jules Verne.

But, I keep hearing other new steampunky terms, too.

Dieselpunk:
Wikipedia says: “Dieselpunk is an alternate-history environment in which the most important aspect of society is diesel fuel, and the machinery that depends upon it.”

Others say that it’s an age just past the steampunk one, where autos have replaced steamengines, steel replaced brass, through a noir / dystopian filter.

Oilpunk / Petrolpunk / Petropunk:
An idealized version of today’s oil-based society. One ruled by gas, not steam.

MonsterPunk:
Mechanical and steampunk elements mixed together in a mythological monster world.

SteamPulp:
Some prefer this term to “steampunk” since it more accurately describes the setting, and seems more in character. The “pulp” refers to the pulp adventure novels and magazines of yesteryear.

Monster Commute is certainly a mix of Steampunk and other elements. “Monsterpunk” or “Dieselpunk” probably best describe it.

What are some other “steampunk” names or terms you’ve heard out there?

<>

Jon Andronsky suggests these two on Twitter:

Sailpunk:
Like in the animated film Treasure Planet, where advanced technologies conform to an older nautical aesthetic.

Clockpunk
Primarily a design aesthetic whereby steam power is eliminated completely in favor of hyper-complex clockworks.

Here’s my steampunk movie poster version:

The Tin Man is now the Bronze Woodman, with a bitter hole for a heart. (Inspired by actor Lee Van Cleef.) The Lion is a shy gentleman, surrounded by his friends. The Scarecrow spent time as a carnival strongman, before finding the group. Dorothy is a mechanic (of course), while Toto is a two headed beast.

The Emerald City is a factory city, where thousands of folks toil for OZ.

Update: I’ve added this print to the store (minus the “www.steamcrow.com” bit) for $20, which includes shipping and handling in the USA.

- Daniel

Monstru Pirate Radio (MPR) interviews Beastio Agyris Wand (BAW)

MPR: Thanks for answering our questions today.

BAW: Yep. Can you hear me okay?

MPR: Yeah, loud and clear.

MPR: So, we’ll get right to it. Why are you wanted by the Authority?

BAW: Well, no reason, really. I still don’t really know what happened. I think that Chad angered an aspect of Toni Oni (owner of ONI ONI MART) and he sicked the Authority on to us. We didn’t do anything wrong.

MPR: Chad being your friend, Chadworth Machine.

BAW: Yeah, he’s my best friend.

MPR: How’d you two meet?

BAW: Well, he knew my mom, and umm, he needed to borrow some money to purchase the Steam Crow. She lent it to him, which made me a partial owner. We worked on her and got her running, and we’ve been stuck with each other ever since.

MPR: A lot of folks really like the Steam Crow. You don’t see many of those anymore.

BAW: No, not at all. I don’t think I’ve ever seen ANY other Carnavon rigs anywhere. I think that’s why Chad was so keen on buying her right away. Even though she didn’t run, the ‘Crow cost a bundle.

MPR: What about that head on top? Did you guys add that yourselves?

BAW: Nope, it was there from the beginning. There was this ice cream manufacturer called the “Sweet Raven Confection Company” that must have commisioned the Crow, including that head. We never felt like it would have been right to take it off. It’d be almost like decapitation now.

MPR: Yes, I can see that.

MPR: So, a question a lot of folks have is “where are you headed next?”

MPR: Chad says that I can’t answer that for obvious reasons, but I’d say that we could head way up North before too long. I want to go to Skullopolis, but Steam doesn’t like the idea.

MPR: “Steam?” Are you talking about Kip Cupwhistle.

BAW: “Steam,” “Kip Cupwhistle,” “Pumpkin Top,” it’s all the same.

MPR: What’s it like with him on board?

BAW: Pretty good. Chad doesn’t yell at me nearly as much anymore, since Kip is batnutz crazy. I caught him drinking antique soap the other day. I like his sense of adventure. He’s more random than I am.

MPR: Well, our time is a little short today. Mind if we ask some questions next time, Beastio?

BAW: Sure, sounds good. Thanks!

MPR: We’ve been talking to Beastio Wand, a “road pirate” from the Monstru Resistance.

BAW: Road Pirate?

MPR: Next up: 7 ways to increase your coal mileage and musician Nemiss!

MPR: This is MPR, Monstru Pirate Radio

This is MPR, Monstru Pirate Radio

Monstru Pirate Radio logo

Today, we have a special guest, Mr. Steam himself, Kip Cupwhistle (KC)!

MPR: Or should I say “Volton Cogg?”

KC: Kip is me. That is my name.

MPR: So, why so many names?

KC: Sometimes I hunger for a leafy twig.

MPR: I see. So, you like variety, then?

KC: Yes, and no. But mostly yes. Nope.

MPR: Being the newest member of the Steam Crow pirate crew must be exciting?

KC: Oh yes. The dead one yells a good deal. And the red one is sniffy. Good chaps.

MPR: So what really happened with those CrowBots?

KC: I drank some acetone and stabbed them.

MPR: How many?

KC: Five, but one was greenish.

MPR: Why did you stab them?

KC: I don’t like green. I honestly don’t remember.

MPR: Are you going to stab me?

KC: Are you green?

MPR: No.

KC: Do you have any acetone?

MPR: No.

KC: Then it’s unlikely.

MPR: I see that you have a pumpkin for a head. Is it a real pumpkin?

KC: I’d rather not say. But, I’d rather say “sponge buttons.”

MPR: (Coughs) So, what race are you?

KC: I’m a Pumpkin Golem. A #8 pumpkin golem, to be exact. I’m collectable.

MPR: What do pumpkin golems do?

KC: Gamble, mostly. I have a lucky hat. I call it “Kitten.”

MPR: What’s the most you’ve ever lost in a bet?

KC: I stabbed some CrowBots. And a refridgerator.

MPR: Well, that’s all the time for our transmission today.

MPR: I’d like to thank Kip Cupwhistle, pirate of the 9 highways, for joining us today.

KC: (Sound of sloshing and gallon container rustling.) Hic!

MPR: This is MPR, Monstru Pirate Radio.

Monstru Pirate Radio (MPR) is happy to be talking to Baba Jaga, today.

Monstru Pirate Radio logo

MPR: Baba Jaga (Baba) has spent the last few hundred years working as an assassin-hag, all across Monstru.

MPR: Welcome to our show!

Baba: Jes.

MPR: So, how long have you been an… assassin?

Baba: Many the time. I have killed with only hand and finger.

MPR: Why did you become a killer?

Baba: Okay. My husband, he left for the wars and he never came back. Mine father estate collapsed in plagues time, and my looks not paying bills so well.

MPR: So, you became an assassin?

Baba: No, I became angry, I became baker. I cook bones of childs to makes hot bread.

MPR: Um… interesting.

Baba: Later, I tire of children and I use talents for breaking men into pieces smaller than hand.

MPR: If you don’t mind, you seem a little… angry?

Baba: Would you be angry if love of life was left mostly dead? If everything dreamed upon, broken? If everything planned end in plague? Empty hearth, empty heart?

MPR: Well sure. But there is medicine for that now.

Baba: PAH! Medicine like ash. Only bread and time spoil pain.

MPR: Recently, you saw your ex-husband, Chadworth Machine… how was that for you?

Baba: We still married.

MPR: Oh.

Baba: Chadworth Barondook. He changed much. He is brass and bone. No heart. He dead, mostly.

MPR: Is there any chance to rekindle your old flames?

Baba: Too long ago. He make no child. I kill him, make him to bread.

MPR: We have a caller. Yes, hello there! What is your question?

Caller: Baba Jaga! Big fan. How do I become an assassin? What kind of weapons do you use? It’s so great to be talking to you!

Baba: Jes. Empty heart. Fill with hurt. Anger. Forgive not. These thing, they make for ill blood.

Baba: If you cannot kill with own hands, a killer you are not.

Caller: What kind of paperwork do you need to be a licensed assassin? How do you do get started as a hitwoman?

Baba: I care not. Stupid questions. Life is hate. Shoo!

MPR: Thank you, caller.

MPR: Well we’re about out of time today. Thanks to Baba Jaga, Hag Assassin, for joining us today.

Baba: Jes.

MPR: This is MPR, Monstru Pirate Radio.

Fake letter:

Dear D-Master Daniel-SAN -

Why do you do what you do, the way that you do?

Stay Cool!

- Fakus99

Dear Fakus -

Thank you for writing.

I do what I do, because it’s how I like to live. I live to create “stuff”. It could have been sand-sculpture or furniture making or BMX bike jumping… but none of those things involved monsters or art or world-building. (And I wasn’t any good at any of them.)

However, there is something in your letter that I simply must address.

Please don’t call me “Daniel-San.”

You see, ever since the Karate Kid movie debuted in 1984, people have been calling me “Daniel-San.”

That’s 25 years of hooking me up with a character that I have very little in common with, and less interest in. It’s been relentless. I’ve been called that by hundreds and hundreds of hobos, strangers, co-workers, and road charlatans.

Now, sure, “Daniel-San” was fun and cute at first. (Like maybe until July 1984.) But now, it’s a little ragged, tired and old as Master Miyagi was in the film itself.

So please: no more “Daniel-San.”

Here’s a quick guide, to help you out:

• Daniel – Yep, it’s my real name, and actually my preferred moniker. 1st choice all around. Go with that. You’ll be safe, and it ALWAYS works.
• Danny – If you’re a close friend (or my mom) and you already call me “Danny,” that’s cool. You keep doing that. I happen to like it. If not, avoid “Danny” like riding a glass camel.
• Dan – Okay, so if you met met me in High School, you can still call me “Dan.” Otherwise, it reminds me of an archetypal “Dan” who works at the office, and likes to talk monster-trucks, wrestling, classic rawk, and the hot secretary. (Well, that and STEELY DAN.)
• “D” or “Danny D” – These are fine in writing or when you’re drunk, though I refer to my persona as “Danny D.” To myself. Yeah, I’m a sicko.
• “Double D” is a bra size. I am a Daniel Davis, but you’re just reminding me that I’m fat.

It seems to be the default nickname for Daniel’s everywhere, especially from new people that I meet. That’s okay, but please just be more creative.

Here are some other Daniel-based nicknames that you can use instead of “Daniel-San”:

• DanYELL
• Danotaur (But please no “book ‘em Danno”)
• Daniel Spaniel
• Danielsaurus Rex
• Danny Inferno
• Dark Steel
• KRAWM

I hope that you now realize how damn serious that I am on this subject.

Thanks for writing.

- Daniel “_____” Davis

The design of  Chadworth Machine is an amalgamation of all kinds of robot designs I’ve seen, over the years. He’s got a Bender chest hatch, a Mignola dome-skull, and clank-janky hands.

I wanted him to be familliar and relateable.

To be perfectly honest, Chadworth’s skull is really where the soul of the character lives, regardless of his bodily trappings. So, in a lot of ways, the rest doesn’t really matter all that much.

Here are some “Separated at Birth” characters that I’ve found that remind me of old Chad:

Nazgar the Tyrant, plastic toy:

Robot 13

R 13 is a character by Arizona indie publisher, Blacklist Studio.

Created by Daniel Bradford (artist) and Thomas Hall (writer), Robot 13 draws some inspiration from the same well as Monster Commute: Mike Mignola.

Both Daniels (me and him) love Mike’s work.

I’ve been asked a couple of times if I was upset that the R 13 character design was so similar to Chadworths’. I am not.

1. Daniel and Thomas are actually real-life friends of mine.
2. Daniel had enough respect early on in his project, just to make sure that everything was cool with me. Very classy. Since I didn’t invent dome-skulled robots, I certainly have no reason to be upset.

Great stuff, I’ve heard some good buzz about this book. You oughta check it out.

We ought to do pinups in the back of each other’s books.

<>

There’s a bunch of other “separated at birth” artwork out there, but I’m out of time to find you anymore.

And maybe, it doesn’t matter.

- Daniel

Confession time: I’m obsessed with traffic.

No, no, not that kind. Seeing bunches of cars doesn’t help my heart rate, it just burns it up.

I’m talking about web traffic.

I’m obsessed with watching the numbers of people who visit our websites. I check Monster Commute’s traffic about 5 times per day. I check the others, daily.

Now, I’m not saying that it’s a good thing, either.

Good = I need to spend my energies talking to people, answering questions, and making comics, illustrations, products, and other content.

Bad = Spending time on stuff that doesn’t matter.

Really bad = doing it 5 times per day.

Web traffic doesn’t matter.

It is a single, thin indication of how things are going, but it isn’t the end-all, be all. It doesn’t really tell me how much people like what we’re doing, or if they get it, or how they feel about little Beastio.

Heck, a lot of you have told me that you catch up with the comic about once per week, so that you can read a bit more story all at once. That’s cool, have at it.

It skews the daily numbers some, but this isn’t about numbers. It’s about these characters, this world, and you.

So, I’m going to try not to obsess about traffic as much right now. I’ve got a bunch of other things to work on, instead.

Related facts:

• MonsterCommute.com is my most successful website, in terms of daily unique readers. That happened pretty fast, as the site isn’ t even a year old yet.
• SteamCrow.com was my best site, likely due to the articles. I got rid of the articles there, because it was distracting. I’ll post them again, elsewhere.
• Agyris.net is my eldest site, at nearly 9 years old.
• Agyris.net was once linked by Boingboing and Slashdot. I couldn’t keep the site up for a week.
• I own about 9 or 10 domains right now. I should haven’t let a couple expire. Oh well.
• All of my sites are really small pudding. However, I’d like to change that.

- Daniel

MONSTRU NEWS BRIEF #52983019574272-7

AXE SHORTAGE STRIKES THE MONSTRULAND

Iltak, Gabbat. Hundreds line up to purchase assorted axes from registered axe dealers, as fear of CREATU invasion grips the nation. Many have waited hours and even days, for the chance to purchase one double-bitted battleaxe.

“It’s the only thing that’ll stop those CREATU,” said Max Cannon, an out-of-work road paving instructor. “We all need to be able to fight back, and they have huge claws and metal fangs.”

Prices have escalated 600% as Patriots patiently wait in line for their share. To answer the need, Abe Linolnstein has graciously ordered the Gabjar AXE Works to double production! “It has to be done,” Lincolnstein said. “Our national freedom depends on the steady and regular flow of axes. We’ll get you, CREATU!” he pledged.

IN OTHER NEWS, chocolate dust rations have been increased from .11 ounces per month to .13 ounces, to reward the outstanding 86% increase in factory drygood production. “Child labor at work,” said Inquisinator Glee. “Those patriots really know how to pound pigiron and shovel coal!”

If you have children of your own (or see any unattended) please register them with your local Patriot Labor Union.

And yeah, I meant to leave out Chad’s head, there. It’s there, but you just can’t see it, because it floated too low.

<>

Growing up without electricity (through most of my Highschool years), we learned to do without.

We didn’t have a shower, so in the summer we’d hang a hose on a tree, and shower in that. We didn’t have a bathroom for a while, so I did my business in the woods. (Winter too.) We didn’t have running water, but we still had camping water containers to drink from. I didn’t have television, so I read. A lot.

Funny thing is that after a while, you kinda get used to it.

All of these experiences became pretty natural after just a little while. I could go naked in the woods, and there wasn’t anyone around to notice. (Our closest neighbor was a good 3/4 mile away.)

I didn’t love living there without these amenities at the time, but now, I’m pretty thankful for it. It was just the sort of thing that a city kid needed to help rewire the brain. Added to a few other traumatic events and an over-active imagination, and I’ve got the kind of disfunctional mind that creates the very best dreams.

I’m trying to harness some of this experience, and stuff it into the Monster Commute. Sometimes I’m more successful and other times, I’m not. But I guess lots of things in life are like that.

The most important bit is that I’m really enjoying it. I’ve been able to show you more of this world than anything else I’ve ever made.

I’ve got plenty more of MONSTRU to show you, if you’ll have me a little longer.

- Daniel

Tools that I can’t use very well:

• Chainsaw
• Hammer
• Electric knife
• Typewriter
• C++
• Hay Bale

Tools that I’m okay with:

• Tractor
• Computer
• Dog
• Dungeon and Dragons dice
• Goat
• Styro Medieval weapon

Tools I’m pretty good with:

• Vector art pen tool
• Bass guitar
• Bic pen
• Star Wars action figure
• Putty
• Woodland creature

- Daniel

Games

I like games, and like the idea of  games, much more than I actually get to play them.

I’ve always wanted to play Monsters Menace America, though I’ve only played it maybe twice, at work. My son Kaid is all over it, since it features his favorite thing  in the whole world: Kaiju. Once he’s a little older, we’ll give it a go.

So far, we’ve been playing a few improvised games: a chariot racing game, and a very simple miniatures battle game that uses some war dice I have from some other game. (Attack die 1 has 3 skulls and 3 blanks, defense die has 3 shields and 3 blanks.) Overall, we’ve had a  good time, and have avoided a complicated rule-set that might frustrate him too much.

I really like strategy games, but loath having to manually manage all of the resources, in some kind of epic 18 hour game. To me, this is where online games really shine. Let the computer do the heavy lifting, and let me decide on the right strategy for the game.

That said, I’m really interested in playing the Settlers of Catan game series. That seems like it could lead to epic fun.

What are your favorite games?

- Daniel