Monstru News Newsbrief:
TROUBLE IN MONSTRU: CREATU SPIES AMONG US
Citizens of Monstru, it is with pain that I report that there are traitors living among us.
These defilers have engaged in a life that is little more than a lie; they hide in weakness as they pretend to be our shopkeepers, mechanics, workers and teachers. They lie in wait until the bells of evil are run to spell fear in our hearts and minds. Then then shall strike, and seek to defile us!
Valiant friends, it is up to us to help root out the enemy. Watch for suspicious vehicles. Report odd driving patterns to your local CrowBot Authority protectors. Prove your loyalty by rooting out the Creatu traitors, doubleplusfast!
This ends tonight’s Monstru News alert.
ZZZZzzzzzzcht!
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Hello, Crowbot Authority?
Yes, I’d like to report a very suspicious character, he goes by the name Daniel M. Davis among others.
He claims to be a webcomic artist, which is enough to warrant his detention, but to compound the felony he’s also too talented for his own good.
If a reward is offered I’d like his goggles.
ZZZZsssst!
Thank you for your report, citizen.
Please file your report in person at any convenient Authority Celebration Hall; Detention Desk C. Ask for the local Inquisinator.
Do Not Question Authority
- CrowBot 9934K
Last dude that stuck his handy in my window and had me by the horn (neck tie), ened up with the window pinching his elbow and him jogging alongside my vehicle as it got faster and faster. Parking lot rage was the guys problem as he felt that I cut him off. I honestly had no idea I even did anything wrong until his body part was in my car. I was looking for a sharpened crow feather that I usually keep handy for cleaning my teeth, but he did not lose a drop of blood. Not today and not on my lunch break.
There was a good layer of his epidermis on my window after I let him go!
I could have done something really mean and bad, but I was all pumped up and just calmed it down. I walked home for lunch for about a week after that!
Hello, Cursed Earth Pizza?
Yeah, I’d like a dozen large cheese pies with extra entrails, onions, and no anchovies.
And I want them delivered to The Armageddon Cab Company, 13th block, Industrial Sector?
hahahahah, horn contact? haha, nice one… ZZZZzzzzzzcht!
Oh man, I don’t know what I’d do if a zombie reached through my window and grabbed my horn…nice work! I heart zombies.