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Monster Commute – a Traffic Novel

Web comic about about a monster world that's like 1984 meets the Wizard of OZ, on a steampunk highway.
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heading_baba_jaga

Baba Jaga

by Daniel on December 31, 2010 at 2:30 am

Baba Jaga
“The Crone”

Race: Peerless
Age:
1888
Job:
Bounty Witch.
Vehicle:
Deepwalker Hut.
Dislikes:
Other folk.
Secret:
Lonely.
Faults:
Eternal Grudge: Chadworth

image here

Baba Jaga is an infamous Bounty Witch (hag) known throughout the 5 Provinces of Monstru. She’s known to always get her man, and has bagged more than 300 bounties in the last century. While she is a free-agent, she works most often for the Authority capturing unPatriots of all sorts.

Jaga was once engaged to manling Chad Worth who was subsequently shanghaied into the Mighty War which lasted another 50 years. Left on the alter, she never forgave him.

Her home (and prized possession) is her Deepwalker Hut; it is an all metal vehicle that strides the road on 2 huge metal chicken legs. It is strong enough to tear up CrowBots, though the Authority lists her as “not worth arresting at this time.” Those that enter the hut are most likely going to become a roast dinner.

Rumors:

  • Yaga is incredibly rich, and knows the source for a long forgotten treasure.
  • The Yaga is a serial killer, and she abducts children in every city she visits.
  • She is a powerful soothsayer, and can read the future by spinning bones. (Dice)
  • She was born of cursed earth, which is why she stands in a weird flower pot. She can never step out of it.
  • Her hands are powerful enough to tear a Trolla into many small pieces.
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BattleTruck the movie

by Daniel on December 30, 2010 at 2:46 pm

Hey look, a cheezy 1980′s Monster Commute movie, BATTLETRUCK!

He’s the HUNTER!

Via our friends at Superpunch, one of my favorite blogs.

Please comment and let me know about any other films that involve driving, battle, and/or monsters.

- Daniel

2 Comments
heading_the_witcher

The Witcher

by Daniel on December 30, 2010 at 2:21 am

The Witcher
“The Soldier”

Race: CrowBot
Age:
91.
Job:
Admiral.
Condition:
Unknown.
Upgrades:
Warlock Turbines.
Where abouts:
Unknown.
Fears
: Majik Burnout.
Skills:
Skyclad Pilot.

Admiral Witcher is a hero of the Authority, known for his military tactics, his SkyClad Piloting abilities, and his mastery of the Dark Arts (majik). He has been awarded the Patriot’s Medallion on 5 separate occasions, and is probably the 15th most famous CrowBot military personality.

The Monstru World News called the Witcher “A national treasure with a penchant for Pino Noir among other, darker things.”

Admiral Witcher is possibly best known for his “Soath Maneuver” where the city of Soath was over-run by Ferals and the Witcher bombed the city with such accuracy that only 15 civilians were destroyed. (Charmed bombs.) The Ferals promptly retreated, and the city was saved from the horrible creatures. (As were 200 CrowBot apartments.)

It is no surprise that the Authority called upon the Witcher to deal with the Night Terror troubles. While he found the sky torpedoes to be fairly useless against the mighty creatures, he had a bit more luck with majik.

Admiral Witcher is currently believed to be dead, though his body has never been found. He was most likely killed in an explosion casting a Feedback jinx as he was attacked by Teslan and his Greater Daemon Rofftan. The feedback freed Rofftan, who promptly took revenge on Teslan, ending the pain-circle.

Admiral Witcher’s personal SkyClad is the DoomFlower 5, a very fast and armored sky-nautilus. It was also destroyed in the Feedback jinx.

The Witcher features prominently in the UnSun storyline.

First appearance of the Witcher

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heading_dirk_circus

Dirk Circus

by Daniel on December 29, 2010 at 2:33 am

Dirk Circus
“The Scoundrel”

Race: Mechan
Age:
182
Owns:
The Fate Casino.
Fault: Gambling addiction.
Home:
Dungeontown.
Friends:
Red Goblin Circus.
Upgrades: Cargo Claws

Dirk Circus is a gambler and ladies-Mechan, who is always looking for the fastest way to make a pile of CrowBucks with the least amount of work possible.

He appears as a standard Mechan, but with a large mechanical head (model: salesman 181) and 2 very large Cargo Claws with welding torches. This makes Dirk a very well prepared physical opponent.

He owns the Fate Casino (Dungeontown), the largest and most successful pit fighting arena in all of the UnderDeep. Dirk also owns StinkEye, a Mechan thrall built upon the frame of a Barondook Doom Tank. (Currently lost somewhere in the UnderDeep with a broken leg.)

Dirk encountered the Steam Crow Crew when they followed the Steam Crow Van being towed into the Fate. To get inside, Kip passed himself off as a pitfighter, and later defeated StinkEye with the use of the Dark Crown.

Recently Circus has been marketing his Deepwalker Rigs topside, to a ready and willing audience.

First appearance

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heading_teslan

Teslan

by Daniel on December 20, 2010 at 1:37 pm

Teslan the Mighty
“The Talent”
Race: Peerless
Age:
36.
Job:
Beggar.
Last Job:
Inventor.
Status:
Outcast.
Secret:
He was once brilliant.
Hates:
Toni Oni.

image here

Teslan the Mighty was once a successful and famous inventor for the Authority. (He appears significantly in the UnSun story.)

Teslan’s parents were killed in a random car accident, leaving the boy orphaned on the streets of Belito. He was quickly found by Toni Oni, who paid for his instruction at the Oni Academy for Gifted Warlocks. Oni later adopted the boy, who referred to the Industrialist as “Uncle.”

Aside from the parental tragedy, he was a happy and optimistic boy, who loved insects, coloring, and running.

It is safe to say that Teslan is the mightiest inventor that Monstru has ever seen (aside from perhaps Mig Nola, who is not mentioned in any modern books on the subject.) He is said to have invented “Electromajic” and created a number of devices utilizing the wondrous power source:

  • Teslan Power Cell
  • Telsan Torch
  • Teslan Electro-wrench
  • Teslan Electro-spade
  • Teslan Electro-drill
  • Teslan Magnum
  • Teslan Dentistry Chair
  • Teslan Soul Cage
  • Oni Mark CrowBot (Cell powered.)

Teslan’s products are marketed and released through Oni Industries, who have also taken the time to Authority Patent all of his works. These innovations have made Oni Industries immensely successful, largely due to Teslan Torch (consumer) and power cells (Industrial) sales.

Teslan mysteriously disappeared at the age of 36, after a massive explosion and fire at the Teslan Towers. (Formally the “Oni Academy”.)

Certainly his inventions will continue to make waves, even years after his mysterious demise. Today, Teslan is a well-respected and liked brand. (Most folks don’t realize that Teslan was once a real person.)

Off the record

  • Teslan had access to a private library of books and journals written by Mig Nola, that had been somehow acquired by Oni.
  • Teslan was injured when he attacked the Witcher, who had remotely tapped his Greater Daemon Rofftan. (Feedback)
  • Rofftan was freed from his soul cage, and withered Teslan, instantly burning him out, aging him 100 years, and stealing his eyes.
  • Teslan sought comfort from Oni, who kicked him out on the street for failing to control Rofftan (and the SunCage.)
  • Teslan has not been seen in some time.
2 Comments
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