Monster Commute – a Traffic Novel

I’d rather:

• Think that I invented the onion
• Have a 78 inch monitor, but in color
• Eat fresh shimp and seafood daily
• Laugh at the sky
• That Adobe Illustrator worked as efficiently as Macromedia Freehand
• Have 99 goblins to do my bidding (packing orders mostly, and cleaning.)
• Spend a lot more time with my son flying fighting kites
• Play with a remote control mini submarine or airplane
• Be useful to other people than be considered “tricky”
• Drink a gallon of milk from a very clean crystal fountain of a centaur
• Watch movies than watch TV
• Be 7 feet tall and own an electric tiger
• That the San Diego Comicon last 3 months long, but that’s all I had to do
• Eat meat and potatoes that were grilled on sticks
• Be a gamemaster than a player
• Have lunch with JJ Abrams once per week
• Have a big mustache than a huge belly full of fish
• Drink milkshakes than beers
• Think about what’s in those ruins back there
• Help out other artists than be a jerkhole
• Look like Nosferatu than Fester, when I go goth for Halloween
• Help a local business become successful than wait for it to be successful
• Be able to develop more of my ideas this year
• Tell people that I’m a friendly Viking and then swing my axe overhead 3 times
• Have avoided getting married the first time
• Be in the physical shape I was in at 16
• Have a taxidermy Mastadon with a hidden fort inside
• Be friends with 9 to 11 Iron Golems
• Hide in a movie theater
• Create things to sell than do freelance for people who don’t know what they want
• Have Mike Mignola as a mentor then a bitter enemy
• That I could pantomime my comics, and they’d be done
• Swim
• Have some time to game again

- Daniel