Monster Commute – a Traffic Novel

So, I’m not a nut about eggs or anything, but I think that they’re good food, as long as I don’t think about where they come from. (Same goes with meat. I like meat, but I don’t really like to kill stuff to eat it. I’ll probably become a vegitarian when I decide that I need to drop a few hundred pounds.)

Okay, enough of that. Gosh. Don’t be a sicko. Now that you’re hungry…

I can make a pretty mean quiche. (Well, it’s not amazing, but it’s pretty mean; I’m not much of a cook.) But, it’s goodly. You could eat it.

Tonight, I made a couple of them for my family. In honor of “Ed’s House of Eggs”, the 3rd best egg-based fast-food restaurant chain in Monstru, here’s my recipe.

Steam Crow Road Battle Quiche

Ingredients:

• 6 eggs of the chicken
• A pie crust, raw
• Salt & pepper, dash
• Splash of milk or cream
• Small curd cottage cheese, half cup
• Some vegis – spinach, sweat peas, broccoli are good
• An onion – diced. I like Walla Walla sweets, myself
• A bunch o’ mushrooms
• Olive oil – a bit
• Swiss cheeze – 4 slices
• Ham, chopped 1/2 cup

Go-Go-Go – Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to about 350 F.
2. Put the crust dough into pie plates. (Glass for me)
3. Lay the cheese into the bottom of the pie crust
4. Saute the onions, until caramelized and fantastic – put onto crusts
5. Saute the mushrooms, keeping the onion oils in the same pan
6. Break the eggs into a large dang bowl – whip em with the milk
7. Dash in the salt and pepper into the egg bowl
8. Scoop in a wad of cottage cheese into egg bowl – mix again
9. Pull the cooked mushrooms, and spread into the crusts
10. Add the vegis, ham into the egg bowl – mix
11. Pour this mixture onto the the pie crust
12. Put into the oven and set your timer for 40 minutes
13. Double check that your timer is really set
14. Drink some wines
15. Turn on your oven vent, in case you oven is dirty and smoky.

Wait until the timer goes off, and then grab a fork. Pull out the pie plate (HOT, use gloves, duh!) and then put the fork in the middle, and pull it out. Make sure that it comes out clean, and not all gross and eggy, and the top is all golden brown goodness.

If it’s gross and eggy, put it in for 10 more minutes, and visit the wines.

If not gross and eggy, let it sit for about 10 more minutes, so it solidifies a bit, and doesn’t burn the crap out of your mouth.

Enjoy!

Bonus:

• Add a sliced tomato on the top to make it look attractive to the ladies
• Bacon, being the magic candy meat, works just as good as ham.
• You can make about 6 of these at the same time and freeze them.
• Hey, I was raised by Great Depression era folks, they messed me up.
• Never replace the vegis with candy bars; it never works very well.

Zut!

- Daniel

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