Negativity.
I’ve been pessimist for much of my life and I’ve been tainted by a couple serious bouts of clinical depression. I’ve spent a good deal of my life being negative about myself, and being hyper-critical of everything that I did or encounter. This is so common to “artists” that I’m probably not telling you anything that you’ve not heard a thousand times before. It’s so easy to hate one’s art, and even one’s self, that it’s a tired cliché.
However, I don’t really think that way anymore.
I don’t know when it changed for sure, but a good deal of that shift happened when I decided to stop living for other people’s expectations, and doing what I wanted to do for life. I figured (at 18) that I was willing to end my life, so if I decided to live instead, it would be on my own terms. (Or at least as much of my own terms as I could negotiate.)
I spent a lot of years working on this or that, unfocused on my big accomplishment but learning how to do things and living life. When Dawna suggested that we start Steam Crow in 2005, it totally changed my life, and allowed me to leave my self-loathing behind.
How? I don’t know, but it’s probably simply about loving what I do, and believing it it completely.
I’m not into self-help gurus, and my spirituality is fairly undefined, so I’m not going to point you to this answer or that one over there. It’s an intensely personal thing that I can’t define for anyone outside my own skin.
But, it probably started with me drawing something, and allowing myself to like it. (*Imperfect as it is.)
Once I started getting my artwork seen at WonderCon, San Diego Comicon, the Alternative Press Expo, and the Phoenix Comicon, I knew that I was on the right track. While I might not be the most popular artist of any convention, I’m occasionally somebody’s favorite thing that they see there.
It’s a little like that theory that any movie that you choose is somebody’s favorite film.
It’s crazy, but that encouragement is intensely motivating for me. If one person loves it, can’t someone else?
I still encounter people that like to tell me what I can’t do in my life; funny thing is that I’ve done more than I ever expected I could accomplish.
Why quit now?
- Daniel
*No, I don’t like everything I draw.
I’m painfully aware of my own limitations and shortcomings as a person and artist citizen. But I don’t dwell on that imperfection. It doesn’t motivate me. Instead, I just work hard, and make a lot of art. Through this process, I’ll continue to improve.
No related posts.
I am glad you rewired your thinking. We both have broke family traditions, as my family was a walking MUZZ filter. Especially on holidays. It was always some kind of contest of last man/woman standing. Conditioning your thoughts and taking control of your life is taking responsibility. We have never met in person but I look forward to your art and comments, daily.
Cheers to you and yours!
Smilin Phoenix
Thanks, Jay. I think that you’re right there. Glad you could stop by.
I used to be pretty negative too. Until recently. Lately I’ve been aware of this positivity that almost frightens me. I have random thoughts like “today is so great” and I wonder where that came from. I like the new me. The new me is not only thinking happy thoughts, but doing happy things.
All I can say is that there are people in the world who’s goal is to make you feel bad.
Why make it easy?
Dude you art isn’t limited, It’s inspiring! You inspire everyone who meets you. I’ve talked to countless artists around the valley who think you are what it means to be an artist in todays market/ culture. Keep doing what you do like you’ve been doing it and the art world will notice. You are a Mountain in the Phoenix art scene, an unshakable force of CREATIVITY!!!!!
Lets get married!!!!!!! LOL
p.s. don’t tell my wife!
Thanks, Sir.
I’m required by state law to stay 350 yards from your wife.
Dan, the fact that you make your living doing something you enjoy puts you ahead of 70% of the population of the world. Even if your art wasn’t good, I would still enjoy looking at it, because you have always been a positive person in my life. The fact that you have such a unique style that connects with my personal sense of fun and whimsy, well, that just makes it awesome for me to even say I know you. You know that I have dealt with some similar persona issues, so I know you probably agree that when you have kids, certain situations are no longer an option. Just sayin’ I’m glad you found your niche. RRRRRRRRROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks, Pete. It was great seeing you at the Spokane Comicon, and meeting your little daughter.
I think it’s time to roll the breadsticks again…
