MONSTRU NEWS BRIEF #52983019574272-7
AXE SHORTAGE STRIKES THE MONSTRULAND
Iltak, Gabbat. Hundreds line up to purchase assorted axes from registered axe dealers, as fear of CREATU invasion grips the nation. Many have waited hours and even days, for the chance to purchase one double-bitted battleaxe.
“It’s the only thing that’ll stop those CREATU,” said Max Cannon, an out-of-work road paving instructor. “We all need to be able to fight back, and they have huge claws and metal fangs.”
Prices have escalated 600% as Patriots patiently wait in line for their share. To answer the need, Abe Linolnstein has graciously ordered the Gabjar AXE Works to double production! “It has to be done,” Lincolnstein said. “Our national freedom depends on the steady and regular flow of axes. We’ll get you, CREATU!” he pledged.
IN OTHER NEWS, chocolate dust rations have been increased from .11 ounces per month to .13 ounces, to reward the outstanding 86% increase in factory drygood production. “Child labor at work,” said Inquisinator Glee. “Those patriots really know how to pound pigiron and shovel coal!”
If you have children of your own (or see any unattended) please register them with your local Patriot Labor Union.
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I smell conspiracy, black powder and burning rubber.
The pudding thickens..
hehe