Yeah, sometimes I can get pretty doomy.
No, I’m not talking about a standard “bad day”, or normal artistic self-loathing. I’m talking about something a little worse, a little less reasonable.
Most of the time I think that it is totally “chemical”; no excuses here, but I’m just saying that it has no rhyme or reason to set it off, and that it feels like an intrusion to the real me. My wife knows this well, which is why I’m a struggling pessimist. (Or would that be a struggling optimist?)
I’ve gotta be really careful as I’ve had some serious depression issues in my past (decades ago), and I’m pretty certain that it’s in my bones. My family has had some issues too, which my dad proved when he took his life a few years back.
So why on earth am I telling you all of this?
1. I’m a pretty transparent type of guy, and secrets are not my forte.
2. I’m a lot better now, so take off your worry cap. I’m good, and glad to be here in the Land of the Living.
But really I’m sharing because of this: This “doomy” thing oozes directly out of my characters.
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Have a look at some of my illustrations. Crack open one of my books. Look at some illustrations. Go ahead, I’ll wait for you.
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There. See those monsters? Most have some sort of strong emotional vibe. Looking deeper, some are happy but most are a bit dark, while others seem outright doomed. I don’t do this on purpose; they just come out this way.
When I tap into my inner kid to make my art, you get a handful of innocence and hope and joy and fun, but you also get a handful of doomy too.
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I was interviewed a couple of years ago, which was really the moment that I became aware of this doomy trait.
My interviewer said something like “I notice that while most of your characters are very appealing and cute, they often seem very sad.” Really at that point, I really had no idea. I thought that I was just drawing “cute monsters” most of the time.
It was kinda crazy, but she was right. It was surprising, yet made total sense. My monsters had issues too, just like me!
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What does this mean? Heck if I know. I’ll leave it up to someone else to provide that context. I just draw this stuff.
But I do know that it’s okay to awknowledge that other experiences and emotions exist besides saccarine “HAPPY-JOY” and that if you end up looking at much of my work, you’re probably going to see some characters that are a little vulnerable, fragile, or even broken.
It’s just how they come out of me, and I’m okay with that.
Chalk that up to me attempting to channel some of my darker childhood moments into something much more… constructive.
- Daniel
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Notes:
1) There are loads of people who have had truly “DOOMY” lives, far darker than I can imagine. I’m not “woe is me” here, at all.
2) I think that this is an example of “art therapy”. Illustration is probably a decent way to get some of this bad stuff out.
3) I’m sharing simply so that you might know me just a little bit better.
No related posts.
“You’re dead inside, aren’t you?” Mostly. HAHAHAHAH! Oh, man, that’s a riot.
I’m with you on the creative expression is a decent way to get some of this bad stuff out. I wouldn’t have made it through high school without my sketchbook. But be careful who you show your bad stuff too. Guidance Counselors are a pain in the butt.
This is my favorite strip so far!
I know when I feel “doomy” for no apparant reason, I try to find a way to divert it from those around me. One particularly doomy day in college, I decided it best that I wear a pirate hat.
That way if I was short, or weird about things that day, people would assume it was some sort of performance art or dare and not take me seriously.
Too bad. Some people just can’t empathize.
Seems our families get the brunt of our “doom” side. We don’t take it on the ones that deserve it. Note to self: be nice to family after crappy day at work